Graduated from college in December, finally got some time to put together my old notes, replay the game on Nightmare and grab some screenshots. Really only found a few minor things. I know the patch isn't actively being worked on at the moment, but I figured I'd go ahead and post them now in case I'm busy if and when things get back under way. (I sized all these screenshots down and reduced the color depth, so they shouldn't take too long to load.)
The main deal with this one is the capitalization of "Father," which I think creates a bit of ambiguity. The first time I saw it, the capitalization made me think that Christof was referring to Father Pierre, who also went to the ruins. (Likewise, it would be confusing if Chester said something along the lines of "I won't be able to see Sister again." Would he be talking about Elena, or Nell?)
Father = formal religious title. father = family member. For comparison, when Elena refers to Chester as "brother" rather than by name, I don't think it's capitalized. That's my take on it anyways.
A few other occurrences:
Similarly, I don't think "milady" needs to be capitalized, since it really isn't the title of a formal position. Although "Lady Elizabetha" probably would be, or even maybe just "the Lady." I don't know, it starts to get into a weird gray area, and I'm not as sure on this one as I am on the "father" issue. (It's also less important, since it doesn't create the same sense of ambiguity.)
Here, I think "red" needs to be capitalized, because it's actually being used as a name (a nickname, but a name nonetheless).
There might be other instances of "red" earlier in the game.
I think this needs to say "grandson" rather than "son," since Bob is Aida's grandson (she mentions the death of Bob's parents at some point). Unless it's supposed to imply that the locket also belonged to Bob's father before it was passed on to Bob.
There seems to be a bit of a mismatch between these two lines:
I'm guessing it should either be "McGuire
always struck me as weak-willed; I'm not surprised he consented," or "McGuire never struck me as weak-willed; I
am surprised he consented." As it stands, it sounds like Joel is not surprised that the allegedly non-weak-willed McGuire did something weak-willed.
This last one is more a matter of personal taste. I prefer some kind of onomatopoeia for the sound of laughing, no matter how goofy ("hee hee, ha ha, ho ho") over a screenplay-style parenthetical description. Or maybe I just don't like the word "chuckle."
I recall that there was another instance of (chuckles) earlier in the game, and possibly a (sigh) as well (although "sigh" doesn't bug me as much, since there really isn't an onomatopoeia for it), but I forget where exactly. I'll try to catch it next time.
All in all, fantastic work, just a few tiny capitalization things to polish out. You've cursed me with the Falcom fever now.
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